Merry Christmas, Mr. Pope!

There’s something wretched about roughly 670,000,000 people on this planet. Have you heard? They’re queer, and they’re out to ruin straight, normal, pretty, rather fucking boring families. What’s more, I hear they’re betting on world domination.

More than their apocalyptic ends, queers are an abomination — just like Jews, or left-handed people, or Sikhs, or the heinous fucking indigenous tribes of South America. Have you heard? They’re all on the highway to Hell.

Old news, isn’t it? That the Catholic Pope would dare to publicly defile the dignity of hundreds of millions of people on this planet, that he would even THINK of analogizing planetary stewardship with what his words imply is a demographic cleansing of queers everywhere. Imagine how those of us feel who are not out or educated about queer issues? Imagine millions of questioning teenagers just diving into puberty who read his words! How much more UNlikely are they to reconcile their sexuality with themselves? Indeed, the Pope’s words may have a resounding thud in the hearts of all LGBT people cognizant of them.

Absorb his lunacy now –

“A sort of ecology of man is needed,” said the Pope. “The tropical forests do deserve our protection. But man, as a creature, does not deserve any less.”

To borrow from a prominent queer author,

What would Jesus NOT do?

In his recent statements, the Pope sought to imply that if the entire species were to become gay, we would die out. This, my friends, is not just irrational, it’s anti-rational. It’s as if the Pope was born in the thirteenth century and had never heard of Einstein, Newton, modern science, or knowledge. Regressives like this man must not be in power as they are prone to abuse it.

Fortunately, as more and more people are becoming educated, increasingly greater numbers will read the headlines and ask themselves, “What the frack is this guy saying? Is he effing insane?”

No, Mr. Pope, you are not so holy. In fact, you command one of the greatest Christian abominations ever: a colossal male-supremacist human political machine rife with corruption, fancy tall buildings, and materialistic obsession. Forgive me, but

What would Jesus NOT do?

Mr. Pope, astronauts can perceive your insanity. This and your inhumanity cascade through the masses, building power for your skewed relIGUlous – probably political – ends, leaving people bereft of one of the most important individual freedoms: free thought. May the atheist god Gouda bless your soul…


One response to “Merry Christmas, Mr. Pope!

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